The schedule

• Constantly measure urine output (yes, through the night too)
• Wake up at 8:00 am
• Measure my weight
• Measure my blood pressure
• Keep a log of weight, blood pressure, water intake and urine output
• Sterilize a glass, silverware and a plate in boiling water
• Boil water for drinking
• Provide my blood sample for lab tests
• 8:30 am take my immunosuppressant with warm milk (milk - for better absorption)
• Wait for 30-40 min
• Eat breakfast - only warm, cooked food
• Wait for 30-40 min, take the next dose of medicines
• Get to the hospital for antibiotics injection
• Get the lab test report
• Wait for my turn to meet the doctor and discuss the report
• Get home to have lunch
• Wait for 30-40 min to eat the afternoon medicines
• Get some sleep 
• Get back to the hospital for the evening dose of antibiotics
• Organize freshly cooked dinner for me (I could not eat food cooked in the morning)
• 8:00 pm have the evening dose of immunosuppressant with milk again
• Wait for 30-40 min
• Eat dinner
• Wait for 30-40 min
• Eat the last dose of night medicines
• Drink 5-6 litres of water through the whole day

 

Gratifications

It's been a challenge to keep up my positive spirit off late. Every day has been a new day with new challenges...it's been hard to focus on the smaller things and find joy...
After a lot of practicing, I'm slowly able to appreciate the reasons I am able to smile even on the toughest days...
Seemingly insignificant people come forward to help in their own small ways, others who cannot do much more simply make the effort to come over, speak encouraging words...

In a time when we can do with help in many more ways, I find it incredibly humbling to have help coming in from unexpected sources and forms. It really helps discarding a cynical world view and believe that there is still a lot of humanity left among ordinary people.

Through this whole experience my belief in spirituality is certainly deepening, as is my belief in karma. Just have a genuine heart, do the right things without expectations from others...

Thanks for all the people across the globe who are thinking about me and my mom, are praying for us and helping in more ways...I am grateful and blessed to have you in my life.

Two bedrooms and a war room in the middle

Having two patients - one after a kidney transplant, the other post a mild stroke in post operative recovery phase at the same time is a nightmare coming true for any household.
Worse, both these patients are the women of the house.

The post transplant patient needs to be in as much a clinical environment as possible to avoid chances of catching an infection. The post stroke patient does not have complete control on their bowel movements and needs to use the bathroom. Both this happening in the same house with one 77 year old man to take care of his wife and the other a 37 years old man for his wife.

The two patients confine themselves mostly to their respective bedrooms...the two egoistic men(as men often tend to be) try to manage things in the house...cooking, washing, cleaning, and hundreds of other chores. The amount of this stuff to be done right now is many folds more than even the most women centric thinking man. While they both are doing a fabulous job in their own way, they do get on each others nerves very often.

Am trying to 'heal' given the circumstances...God be with me and my mom.

Healing amidst stress

Back home, the new saga of family drama and how each individual deals with stress begins to surface itself :D

Dealing with such situations is hard for the patient but its also very hard for the family members - something to be expected. Each person has his/her way of dealing with difficult situations. So there are bound to be unpleasant moments.

Its important to remember, everyone's intentions are good - their manifestations could be questioned.

My spiritual inclination deepened during these times. I found talks of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar on Spotify and I would listen to them everyday before going to bed - very peaceful. In the afternoon, I would meditate a little.

Appreciating small things

• Getting the catheter removed and gaining back my freedom to use the bathroom at my own will was such a delight.
• Getting the chance to get a quick bath (at 6:00 am) and feel clean was something I looked forward to though I was mostly still half asleep.
• 24th May, the blood drain pipe was also removed and I was told I could go home the next day.  YAY!!
• 25th May, I got discharged from the hospital. Sad that my mom was still there and was to undergo her arteries surgery :(
• After being in isolation for so many days, being out in the open, seeing people, the traffic on the potholed roads of Bangalore on the way home all felt amazing. I was still in pain but felt energetic and enthusiastic.

BUT! I had already developed a Urinary Tract Infection :( - Apparently, long use of catheter often results in such infections. This meant I needed to be back in the hospital everyday for the next 7 days to get antibiotics. BLAH!!

But hey, for NOW, I was going home.

Mom has a stroke

I recall, I could not get my mom out of my head on 22nd morning. I could not stop crying....I really wanted to meet my mom and know how she was doing and why she had not been discharged yet. Something was not feeling right.

Seeing me in this state, the head nurse allowed V to come in and talk to me.

My poor mom had suffered a mild stroke due to blockage in her arteries that supplied blood to the brain. It was a blessing in disguise that this happened while she was in the hospital - they could immediately act on it and do what it takes to control it.

As disturbing as it sounds, I felt relieved to know that prompt action had been taken - that she was in good hands. I also somehow believed this was going to help her in the long run.

I prayed every night that God gives her the strength to get past this. After having done such a humanitarian act of donating her organ to me, she had to be dealt with the right way...no wrong should happen to her for her selfless act.

Suddenly I felt strong again to pull myself together, get better sooner so I could help her get better.

I have a new kidney

Still sedated, I faintly remember a doctor telling me it all worked out okay and my mom was doing okay too.

As I regained consciousness, I saw I had pipes running all over me - for urine, for blood discharge from the new kidney. I had an intra venal connection on my shoulder and on my fist. My stomach felt twice its size and I weighed 6 kgs extra compared to a day earlier :-O
The amount of urine is closely monitored and is a sign of the functioning of the kidney. The nurses keep checking on this and I was asked to drink as much water as I could.
WOW!! This was overwhelming.
Just two days back I was up and about, and now all this. The thought did cross my mind, 'was I better off before?'

Of course, medically, I was better off now, but I seemed to have lost all control of my body.

I wondered how long this was going to last. More so, how long would it take to come to terms with my new realities. So many thoughts, but no way to share them cos I was kept in isolation - trapped inside a room with just the idiot box for company. Nurses walking in and out...no chance to see the face of a loved one let alone pouring your heart out - one of the lowest moments of my life so far.

Lesson learnt: Never look at a mirror after a surgery - that too a major one like this.
 

The countdown

Although my medical reports were not good, I felt fit and fine enough to travel internationally, alone. I arrived in Bangalore on 3rd May - starting the countdown to the transplant. My life seemed and felt 'normal' but I was going to be ill soon - walking into illness in a few days - I was going to feel sick in a few days - I could not imagine this. I had never had the smallest of a surgery in my life...here I was getting ready for a Kidney transplant. phew!

13th May my mom and I got ourselves to the hospital. My brother & sis-in-law from Mumbai, parents in law from Lucknow, aunt from Delhi, were all there with us. Despite the big upcoming event, the mood was relatively upbeat.

15th morning, 6:30 am the nurses came to take us to the operation theatre (OT). Finally, I felt fear taking over me. Owing to watching soaps like Greys Anotomy, ER etc, I had this phobia of all the things that could go wrong inside the OT and wondered if we would come out alive.
I couldn't let the fear show so my mom remained strong...

As we were rolled into the OT, I saw the family waving to us and raising their thumbs up...then it was sedation time...