Spontaneous travels

Traveling is something that never ceases to excite me. Yes I used to be the 'frivolous' one.

6 months post transplant a new normal seems to be that planing for travels isn't relevant anymore. Everything depends on the bi-weekly tests, their results and what the doctors have to say about them. Of course another dependency is how we feel after seeing the reports/ meeting the doctors.

I am no longer starry eyed about the (never-ending) list of places I wanted to travel to in the world. If the forces align and I do spontaneously happen to land up in one of these places, I will consider myself blessed :)

Its amazing how quickly one's mind can adapt to new situations if it is forced to.  

The facade of being fine

Feelings, insecurities, emotions, situations, facts, figures - it's amazing how many things a patient with a chronic illness has to ACCEPT and OVERCOME on a constant basis.

• Why is it that one is expected to be strong every day/every minute regardless of what life throws at you? 
• Why is crying seen as a sign of weakness? If so, why is being weak (sometimes) a bad thing?  
• Why are we always taught and told to hold back on our emotions and put on this facade of being fine all the time?  

Changes

Interesting to observe the roles different people play in one's (my) life - each person seems to fit into a box. With the changes in my life, the dynamics with people also seem to change...

Some people have emerged out of the blue to become much closer to me than I considered them, few of those I considered close seem to be falling through the gaps, some have disappeared, others view me as the 'damaged good' - as my life currently revolves around my creatinine levels, medicines, hospital visits - I have nothing interesting to offer. Now, why would anyone want to spend time with someone like this right?

Interesting change in dynamics - another new normal perhaps!