Everybody hurts

Not everyone knows the details about the small day to day nuances of living with a transplanted kidney - the compromises, alterations made over time to make one's life seem reasonably normal. 

some such people choose to remain ignorant, hoping i as a patient know what i need to do; some others, despite being ignorant choose to advise what i as a patient need to do. 

the ones that hurt the most however are the ones who choose to educate themselves about such illnesses, only to cherry pick information that suits them - to ensure i remain in a reasonably healthy state just so it ensurers i am able to fulfill my duties and responsibilities towards them (despite they being in better physical condition than me.)

i recently experienced this

needless to saying, it hurt me to hear the run down philosophy thrown at me again, "you will be healthy if you are positive. Just live with us and things will be fine."

ironically, the people who i heard this from, have to be squeezed to get any drop of joy from their life (if so). They have depression issues they don't accept. Are most bitter about life, not able to let go...worst of all - are the same people who accuse me for being too frivolous about my life, as my ways of finding joy and remaining positive doesn't match theirs. Sports, travel, a creative career, music - not things that fit their frame of being means to be positive.

hurtful as it is to have to deal with such people.

i realized, at the bottom of it, a person who needs so much care as me, does sooner than later does become a burden on everyone - when people's 'expectations' stop being met on a consistent basis due to my illness related issues, it impacts their life. how they choose to deal with the impact is firstly, their choice and secondly, not too much in my control.

i realized, regardless of who it is, what they think about the way i protect myself from further damage, i need to be way stronger to put my foot down. 

most of all also get stronger when i will get to hear the flack for putting my foot down strongly.